Frustrated

GOD im so frustrated with trying to lose weight!! Great diring the week and running and doing yoga and salsa so im pretty active but on the weekend I can't stick to it SO FREAKEN FRUSTRATING!! This has been an issue for years now. I really need to make a commitment to stick to my calories this weekend NO MATTER WHAT comes up! 

Dealing with life and depression

Im taking a couple of days off work this week, trying to get my head together. Went to the Dr and he says i have reactive depression, he offered meds (i dont want to take meds as i know i have an addictive personality) so i asked about counselling. First appointment tomorrow and its expensive so hopefully it helps. Im eating and eating EVERYTHING in sight and anything that i "shouldn't" i can be stuffed full and still wanting to shove something in my mouth!

Running is beyond my scope of thinking atm which sux but I can't even fathom going for a run. 

I want to make this pain go away any way possible i want to drink, eat, take a pill anything to feel normal again but i know that none of thats going to help, only changing the way i feel and dealing with my problems will make it better. 

My friend and cousin have been wonderful at listening to me whinge lol

All i want is to fall into Brendons arms and sob and have him tell me everythings going to be ok and he loves me 😪

I just randomly start sobbing for no reason and dont know how to make it feel better. 

God i want to get healthy and lose this weight but i dont know how to put that into motion right now. 

Another shitty weekend

BLOODY HELL! Another shitty weekend and i feel like crap again emotionally, physically and spiritually drained. I'm so lost, clearly i dont want this bad enough or have the drive to succeed in losing weight this time, i dont know what to do. I "start again" every monday and go really  really good during the week and then BUST friday, Saturday and sunday. Well thats not good enough. Im back to not wanting to run again as its getting harder and harder. Thats my gripe for today. Um just feeling "glass half empty" today, a bit down in the dumps

Another hard week

Things have been hard emotionally over the last week, my eating has been up and down (yesterday i decided it was too cold for a run b4 work so at that point i decided i was going to have maccas for lunch and also threw in chocolate cake and 4 homemade cookies - the cookies alone were 600cal's!) its like i just gave up. Back to running today and eating well. Idk why i sabotage myself like this???

This weeks weigh in: 88.0kg (loss of 100g)