2nd weigh in

Yes I'm still here!

Its that day again, i will be weighing in in about an hour, bit nervous as its also that time off the month where i get bloated and usually put on a kilo. Also I've never done night weigh ins before so it will be interesting to see if what i ate today effects my number i have drunk a couple Litres of water today also so we'll see what happens. 

I have been off work all last week with my bad back, am finally back to work today but i wont be able to exercise for a bit until it heals properly, thats a bit of a bummer as id like to start running again but i will be patient with myself and not make things worse - I cant afford any more time off work atm

Thats it for now, will check back in after my weigh in and let you know how i go

OMG!!!

First weigh in at weight watchers and i was kinda scared bout it....

88.5kg's YES you read it right i went from 72kg's this time last year to a whopping 88.5kgs this year Thats16.5kgs THATS TOTALLY CRAZY!!!!

TIME TO PULL MY FINGER OUTA MY ASS and work for this!

I have all my WW info to read through tonight and im looking forward to the rest of my life..

I asked the man last night if he preferred me when i was 10 kilos lighter? He promptly said yes, i proceeded to get upset and then he clearly felt bad for hurting my feelings (however unintentially) but i get it, why wouldn't he prefer me 10 kilos lighter? I prefer me 10 kilos lighter! It did bring up some feelings for me of unworthiness etc etc but thats for another day. 

I have a really bad back atm and cant exercise which is a bit suckey but hopefully i can get that sorted soon and slowley ease back into it

Here i am again

 I've had a bit over a week "off". Since last weekend where we had the latin fiesta (which was awesome mind you) i have hurt my back and have needed 3 days off work also, haven't been sble to exercise and chose to eat extremely poorly. I've decided to go back to what origionally worked for me, what i know... Weight watchers, i need to weigh in in front of someone, to have that accountability and to know someone else will see this number!! 

I'm nervous about starting from scratch again but excited as i know this has worked very well for me in the past. I am really mad at letting myself get to this point again and have to wear one of my "fat" dresses to the ball again (last year i wore a beautiful new sexy number that i brought which was a size 12! It wouldnt even come near fitting me atm) i want that back!!!

Last years ball dress

Not a good day

Not a good day again today, fighting with a good friend... I went and bought ciggerettes :( and grabbed a salad from sumo salads, it wasnt great so im not eating it. Not particually hungry either, i just grabbed a skim hot choc instead... We'll see how the rest of the day goes but im feeling pretty dreary atm

Tricky day

Today was a trickey one for me. My team leader is moving states (hi Jess if your reading!) so the work "family" decided on KFC for lunch - i declined but it smelled pretty good! Then there was cake so i did have a very small slice

then checked the calories and at 150 cal's i really should've said no, then farewell drinks - I stuck to 2 vodka, soda and limes (my go to low calorie drink) then i seriously considered ordering dinner from the german cafe we were at though i know it would've been packed full of calories so decided on a tray of mini tuna sushi instead only 170 cal's. I did have a break from the gym however I'm going to salsa tonight so still getting in a bit of exercise and giving the legs a bit of a break. So all in all I'd say today was a success, i dropped my calories to 1200 and still have 170 that need to be eaten before the days out! 

Oopsie

just realised i had my calorie counter set to lose 1/2 kg per week so i was on an extra 180cal a day! Ive changed it to lose 1kg a week so have now dropped down to 1200 cals. No wonder i kept having so many calories left over

Healthy dinners

This was delish! Baked cornflake and cheese crumbed snitzel with balsamic tomato salad (we were having vegies with it but there was a slight incident with them burning whilst I was working) 

I still have to eat 200 cals to make it to my minimum, not so sure what to have

A proud day

Super proud of myself today! I'm on late shift today so last night i thought i might go do the river walk in the morning. Waking up this morning i re thought the decision and decided to get back into bed instead, after laying back in bed for a couple of minutes, i thought to myself "really? Are you that lazy?" So i got back up threw on my workout gear and headed off to the river. 

The river walk is 7k's. I ran/walked it (alternating running .5k and walking .5k or so) it took me 1hr 3mins, I'm just so proud of myself making the decision to not be lazy and improve my life. 

Makes me in awe of the 2013 me who used to run the entire 7k, in 41mins! It reminded me if how hard i worked to get there. I have to keep reminding myself that i had to start somewhere back then and when i did i couldn't even run 250m and i was carrying about 7kgs less back then too! So i need to go easy on myself, it's not going to happen overnight but it will happen!

JUST BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF SUZIE!

Today was a good day

Today was a good day, was tired but went for a 20 min run in the gym and was under my calorie plan for the day. 

Made this delish "de constructed burger" for dinner no bread and added a little beetroot dip i made out of greek yoghurt and light sour cream

Getting rid of the scales and setting goals

After my little sneak peak on the scales this morning had me feeling a bit deflated it got me thinking about the impact the scales can (and have in the past) have on my weight loss efforts, it changes my mood and attitude and we all know when my mood changes so does the food i eat!

...so I'm giving the scales to my son to hide away and I've decided to measure myself on the way i feel and how my clothes fit rather than the scales, I'll be weighing and measuring monthly only from now on. 

I have decided to set myself a goal of 10kgs by 2015

I have started drinking lots more water again and my Oolong tea and will try to cut down on the carbs at dinner. 

I'm super determined and I WANT MY OLD SELF BACK!!!

My first measurements:

1/10 

Weight  86.5
Chest 99

Waist 98

Hips 117

Thigh 64.5

Calf 40.5

Todays workout

Todays little workout thanks to mountain health

Long weekend woes

The long weekend's been pretty crappy as far as staying on track is concerned. Sat i had to make the rocky road and cookies for the research thing i was doing  turns out i cant have any treats what so ever in my house because if there there, i'll eat them. Its like they have a gravatational force that pulls me in and i cant say no... Plus side of saturday was that i drank my vodka with soda water instead of lemonade 🍸

Then along comes Sunday with all intentions of getting back on track. Off course there was still rocky road left so i finished that off 😭 I made a beautiful fruit platter for a healthy iption at the BBQ 

And it was delish though i still pigged out on the unhealthy cheeses, breads and muffins for dessert (i know i gain when i eat too much bread or white carbs), i did stick with water and diet soft drinks. 

So here I stand and it's Monday of the long weekend, i'm back on track today had oats for breaky, a beautiful vietnamese chicken salad roll for lunch 

And the plan for dinner is milk poached fish with veg YUM!

I got on tge scales for a sneak peak this morning (i know I shouldn't) and i had gained 700g's! WTF?! I hope to god it is just the heaviness of the food from last night cause thats super dissapointing. 

I was thinking this morning "what did i have last year and when i first started this journey that made me commit 100% and lose the weight? And what is it that I'm missing now?" I'm sure i still have it within me, I'm just not sure where or what it is. Though I'mdetermined i will not give up on this, there is no way I'm going back to be the 100kg girl I once was! 

Day 1

First day in and I'm feeling pretty good had Fruit salad for breaky (was planning on oats but they have gone walk a bouts at work) BBQ chicken, brown rice and steamed veg for lunch 

Which mind you everyone in the office made comments on how great it smelled lol this afternoon i was a little hungry soni popped over to coles and grabbed some mixed nuts (have been craving sugar a little this avo - just a feeling of being somewhat incomplete, not desperate for it), I'll have steak and salad for dinner tonight also went for a run/walk 2.5k total (ran first 1k walked 200m ran 1/2k and so on) i am determined to be able to run the river (7ks) again sometime soon. 

I'm a little bit concerned about the weekend as it  is a long weekend and we have 2 BBQ's to attend, i just need to remember what it is that i really want and that just because its there it doesnt mean I have to eat it. I will take a fruit platter and some other healthy stuff